My Birthing Experience...vs. Germany

With the birth of my first child (& only child, my son) just a bit more then 10 months ago, was a lengthy one. Thursday evening at 10pm I started feeling contractions, however they were only light cramps, but I had Braxton hicks for about a week or so prior so I wasn’t thinking of it as a big deal at first. However I was within days of my due date, just had my last ob appointment that morning and they told me I was getting close and it could happen at any moment. By 1am the contractions began to be more uncomfortable and about 5 minutes apart so I then left to go to the hospital which was an hour away. Once I got to the hospital and started to get situated, they told me that I wasn’t even close enough to get admitted so I walked around the unit for hours and by 6am still nothing had changed. They then told me to go out to eat and then come back in a few hours and they’ll check on me again. Being nauseous I was not willing to leave to do that but I went down to cafeteria with my parents and sat there for a few hours until it was time to return, in much pain sitting there and wanting to just pass out to sleep for just a few minutes, still I couldn’t. By the time I returned at 8am, still nothing had changed but after I pleaded with both the nurses and the on call doctor to let me stay and not have to make the hour trip again, shortly after we decided to induce me, I then was admitted. Contractions continued to get stronger and closer together for hours and I was continuing to progress rather slowly. By 4pm Friday afternoon, they decided that I was close enough to finally break my water, however warned me that once they did that my contractions would become even more painful and to let them know if I wanted an epidural. (I had told everyone who would listen that I was not a person big on pain so when the time came, I asked them to hook me up to a epidural. I joked that I wanted a epidural walking in.) So I agreed for them to continue and break my water, not having a clue how much pain was to come, however from the beginning it hurt but I kept on thinking “it’s got to be worse then this pain, I just got started”. Well once they did, and my first contraction came, I felt like someone was literally going through me and it was unbearable enough for me to try, but be not able to, actually say the word “EPIDURAL!”. My doctor asked me if I wanted it when I was having the contraction and all I could do was open my mouth (with nothing coming out of it) and bob my head. My mother, who was next to me and was my coach, could tell and told that doctor “that would be a yes”. They then gave me it in my back, and yet that was also painful, I kept thinking how much the contraction themselves felt, so I didn’t care. Twenty minutes later, I couldn’t feel the contractions at all and it was then yet, another waiting game for the progression. Since I couldn’t feel much with the medicine, I was actually able to sleep and try to rest up for the big moment. The epidural however, being a continuous drip, began to wear off a few times so they had to give it an added boost somehow twice throughout the evening. Finally by 1am Saturday morning, they checked me and I was finally ready to go! I then began to push with each contraction, with the epidural wearing off, I really started to feel again. However with each contraction and over 20 minutes of pushing, my baby’s heart rate sloped down a bit with each one, so my doctor was concerned. They told me they could continue the birth vaginally however with my doctor’s help and forceps but he would have to be out within 20 minutes, OR we could do a c-section. Trying to stay calm within my shock/horror of the whole thing and being scared for my child, I thought I was already pushing for a half hour and nothing was happening so I said “go ahead with the c-section, I don’t personally want one but if it is the only way to make sure he’s ok, that do it!” Not having any type of surgery in my life ever, I was completely scared but I felt confident in my team of doctors and nurses (all female) and just sat back and let the medication and the team do it’s job while I just said a prayer. I was wheeled into the OR, strapped to slanted table, getting all numb, tired, woozy and they finally brought my mother in with me. Trying not to look directly in her eyes, I knew she was scared, but if I looked at her I would’ve lost it, but just knowing someone was there holding my hand I felt better. I was in and out of being aware of what was going on around me with all the medication that they gave me, however they kept talking to me to check in on how I was doing. Then my doctor told me “ok Jaime, we’re going to take him out now, you’re going to feel a little bit of pressure”. Not sure of what the meant, I panicked and asked “wait, what kind of pressure?” I all of a sudden heard numerous voices trying to answer my question, and my nurse that was with me for almost the full 25 hours, finally said “it will feel like both doctors are leaning on top of you”. A bit confused, yet a bit out of it, I just said ok and just waited for my little one to finally be here. I felt the pressure, (and wow that WAS pressure) and then became sick/very nausious, so the nurse and anesthesiologist helped me with that and gave me some anti-nausea medication, however it was at that point, useless. I then heard this big loud cry, which made the whole thing more real and intense for me and I, of course instantly cried myself. Eager to see him, I pulled the drape away a bit and all I could see were two little feet kicking away. They called my mother over to cut the cord, they then wrapped him up and my mother brought him over to see me. I finally pulled myself together, looked and reached over to find this tiny little face looking up at me. Once they had me all set and the doctors were done with stitching me up, they let me hold my son while they wheeled me to recovery. They later told me that the reason why my son’s heart rate dropped was because the umbilical cord got wrapped around his belly, so the only option was a c-section to get him out.
I also asked my mother at another time how MY actual birth was like, not remembering it myself of course. She told me that it was a regular, vaginal birth, she had absolutely no drugs (ok, HOW?!?!) and there were no complications. And it only took 16 hours of labor. I honestly can say that I have no idea how she possibly did it without help from the medical community aka epidural of any kind! What a hero! I have to say though, throughout my own birthing experience with my son, granted with the emergency c-section, I’m so incredibly glad he was and is, a happy and healthy little boy and everything turned out ok. As far as the effect that the birthing process has on child development, I’m not entirely sure. I wrote about my son’s birth because I remember going through it, however I don’t know how his experience was of course, he didn‘t seem like he was in any pain though. When asked my mother how MY birth was, nothing sparked a memory for me thirty years later while she was telling the story, so judging by experience I have no way of knowing how the actual birth of a child effects the development. However I can only speculate on how a child comes into this world, only hints a little of how they could feel or how their life could be. I apparently had a normal birth with no complications, have had a positive caring childhood with no lasting negative effects of any kind so I do not see the direct correlation to the two. Only continued analysis of a child could tell that, I feel.

Since I am part German, I decided to take a look at how the birthing process/experience is over at Germany. After I found a few websites on how an American’s experience was in Germany and another telling you the ins and outs of being pregnant, doctor visits, and how the hospitals are run when you are having your child, I found that the hospitals and the whole process there were a lot like the ones here in the U.S.. However they are a lot more strict on how procedures and protocols are done. Also in order to ever to be induced you would have to be 13 days past your due date, unless there is a health issue with the mother, baby or placenta. One thing I was surprised to find out is that they do not offer ice chips at all throughout your labor, you’d have to bring the ice with you to the hospital. For the first part of my labor, I lived on ice chips or tiny sips of water; that was all I could put into my system at all so I was shocked to find out that they didn’t even have that to offer. The hospital stay in Germany is a lot longer then how we have in the United States; if you have a normal or vaginal birth you stay for 7 days, for a c-section you stay for 7-14 days. They even provide exercise classes to help you get back into shape and various options to heal you before you return home. I ended up staying for 4-5 days in the hospital so to me, 7-14 days at the hospital sounds like a vacation! ;o) They also provide epidurals and “holistic” medicine like acupuncture and birthing baths to help relax you during labor as well, so there was another similarity. The doctor or midwife is usually the one to of course deliver the baby, however it is a totally different doctor from who you’ve been seeing for the past 9 months through your pregnancy. That was the case pretty much with me, my obstetrician wasn’t the one who handled my delivery (the on call doctor did that job) but it was under the same group of doctors, they were on a rotating schedule so there was a small possibility my own doctor would deliver, but if she wasn’t the doctor, I was still trusted by a good physician. (the on-call doctor actually consulted with my own obstetrician about inducing me in the first place and both doctors ended up working as a team for what was best for me and my baby)
In my comparison of the United States and Germany, they both had a lot of similarities and they weren’t different to the extreme. The point that I ended up taking away from, is that Germany seemed pretty strict about how they run things in the hospital, more so then the US, from what I read it didn’t seem like they were that flexible to any possible birthing plan the mother may have, just focused on what was the safest way to deliver the infant. (they were totally perceptible to my “plan”, however the safety of both me and my child took precedence)